To the Church

It seems to me that the Church was built so there could be unity. God did not want Christians to try to follow him on their own. It is important to have people to be accountable to, confess your sins to, encourage one another, pray for one another, and just help each other go through this thing we call the Christian life. In the New Testament Church, people in Christ Jesus were all as one body. I feel like we have distorted God's truth so much in our Churches today. We have all of these different denominations who believe in all different sorts of theologies. Don't get me wrong, having several places of worship is not necessarily a bad thing, in fact the community would probably be harder in a church that contained everyone who claims to be Christian. But in all of these denominations people believe that their certain theologies are superior to the rest of the churches. I have seen it time and time again where people look down on other churches and raise their church up higher. To be completely honest, I am to blame for that too. But that is so not what God intended. There are all of the churches, but God cares for the Church. The body of all the believers. The believers who can go anywhere, find another believer, and praise God that they are brothers or sisters instead of trying to find faults with them and their beliefs to make themselves feel better. What pride is going through the church. The only thing that matches it was the pride of the pharisees in Jesus' day. And Jesus rebuked them time and time again. The pharisees were supposed to be the ones who knew God. They were the ones leading God's people, but they missed God's most important thing. They didn't recognize God's son, they did not notice God himself, in the flesh, standing right in front of them. How could the men of God look him straight into the eye and not see him for who he was? Obviously they really did not know who God was. They enforced all these rules that got to a point of meticulous rubbish, so they obviously never understood the heart of God. God realized what they were making of him, and this is why he sent Jesus. So we could taste what the heart of God is really like. No longer would he be hidden behind all of these rules. You would see him live in the flesh as an example. Humans are very visual beings. Most of the time it is easier for us to understand if we have an example, if we can see it in action. So God sent us a perfect example and said… this is what you need to be like. Here is the standard. Can't live up to it? Try your hardest, love me passionately, and I'll take care of it from there. Thank God for sending Jesus so that we could have the Church. I don't know how well I would survive in a place filled with rules and regulations to reach God. But we go again back to the question. Why is today's church so much different from the Church in the New Testament? What happened to taking all that you have and sharing it with your brothers and sisters. Communism… thats what the early church was. Christians today talk so bad about communism, but in its perfect form, that is what the church was supposed to be. Sharing whatever you had, using your wealth to help out the less fortunate. Now we just throw a few dollars in the offering basket each Sunday. What happened to the Church? That pride came back into the church. A church cannot survive and prosper when the people in it are full of pride. You can have pride in one thing, and that is Jesus. You yourself, have nothing to be proud of. All humans are sinners who deserve nothing but the scorching flames of hell. But we have grace through Christ, and in that alone may we have pride. Pride in our savior who rescued us from the fire. When we have pride in ourselves it gets risky. Oftentimes we don't see it as pride in ourselves. We study the Bible and come to certain conclusions on what God is telling us, then the next person comes along with a different conclusion. Your pride suddenly takes over your pride in Christ. You don't want to even consider another person's conclusion, because you believe that yours was inspired by God. When both think that their conclusions were inspired by God, but they contradict one another, someone has to be wrong…. right? Or maybe both are wrong? We get in to this battle that we can't win. People will defend their theologies to their grave, because they don't want people to think that they don't have a real connection to Christ. That is called pride. If I can't humble myself enough to consider all of the options and seek God in the community of believers, then who am I to say that I am a Child of God. All I am is a child of my own flesh. I can't believe the separation of Churches all because of some petty unrelenting children, unwilling to sit down and seek truth as one. If many people who earnestly followed Christ, but saw some different things in the Bible got together in complete humility, for the sole purpose of seeking God's truth. I don't think that it would be possible for God to tell them all opposing things. There is only ONE truth. Culture today will tell you that everyone has their own truth, and whatever you feel is right. That cannot be true. One person can believe earnestly that Jesus rose from the dead, and the other can believe that he is still rotting in his grave. Obviously both things cannot be true. It hurts me to see churches splitting up because they do not see the same truths. If God has, but one truth shouldn't he share it with those who seek him? Shouldn't everyone who loves the lord find that truth? I believe when a Church splits they are both doing a huge injustice to themselves and each other. We call the Church Christ's Body. When I hear of one splitting, I get a mental image of a human body pulling itself apart so there are 2 halves. When you have 2 halves of a body, they are not both going to go their separate ways and do their own thing, they are going to flop on the ground like a fish until they bleed out and stop moving. To the Church of_______. Enter where you live in the space. It is not talking to your church building, it is talking to all of the Christians in that region, who are committed to making much of Christ. We can only bring Christ Glory if we are in unity. When we have separation in big "C" Church, there is discord that is not pleasing to God. For heaven's sake, why can't we stop being so into ourselves and just love Jesus and love each other?

Ephesians 4: 2-4

"Be completely humble and gentle; be patient,

bearing one another in love.

Make every effort to keep the unity of the spirit

through the bond of peace.

There is one body and one Spirit -

just as you were called to one hope when you were called-"

Prayer for Direction

Now I'm back to my state of utter confusion. God! What do you want me to do?!? I have people leading me in two directions. I thought doors were closed, but they keep getting reopened... Are you reopening them or is it just a temptation? I thought we settled this already, I thought we had it figured out! Did I choose the wrong thing, or are you just seeing if I'm confident in you? I just want to hear your words. I'm sick of hearing the opinions of every person around me. This time I just want to hear you speak directly into my ear. I want the devil to stop playing these mind games so I can focus my attention on you. Your worth it, God. Whatever you tell me to do, whatever insane things I have to try, your worth it. You are worth people scolding me and looking down on me. I know that. I mean, I really know that. I am believing it more and more as I read about who you are in this book that you spoke for me called the Bible. God, I know what you do in the lives of people, I know that you have your own plans. Please tell me what my next step is. Which direction should I face? You see my lost heart, and you know how vulnerable it is. Please take it and protect it from the enemy's scandals. Fill me with the confidence of you and your holy plans. I want to be absolutely certain that my footsteps are leading me closer to your purpose and goals, so that I can move swiftly and with confidence. This is my prayer, God. Let it be so.

Proverbs 16:9

In his heart a man plans his course,

but the Lord determines his steps.

Seemingly Insignificant

God must be ultimately good. He is beyond the feelings of a human. Our feelings must just be a slight taste of the feelings of God. I asked God for him to give me his heart. He gave me one small thing. One thing that his heart ached over. And now it is my heart. This small, small piece of the heart of Christ, seemingly insignificant. Suddenly I'm burdened beyond anything I have ever experiences. My heart bleeds for this one simple thing. I plead with God, I beg him to to fix it, to restore it. There are times where I fall on my face and sob. How big, and how passionate is the heart of God. It makes me in awe of who he is. But I constantly ask God Why. Why? Why don't you change this, God? Why don't you fix it? God, if your heart is hurting even more than mine is then why won't you do anything? This is why God is good. He somehow has the perfect timing. He does not need to submit to his emotions. He is God. He loves with a love that is so far beyond what we as humans can see. He knows everything, and he can make it all work to show off his glory in the end. I need God. I need him every second of every day, every breath that goes into my lungs better carry the sent of Christ. The thing that scares me the most is that God has no need for me. He may love me, and yearn for me, but he has no need for me. He can carry out his plans all on his own, however he chooses. I am not essential to the plan. But I want so much to be a part of that plan. So God takes me in and allows me to be a part of something bigger. I get to help show his Glory. And this is why he has allowed me a taste of his heart. He wants me to go for the goal of bringing him glory. I will suffer through this emotional overload and I will be at peace. I have a purpose, and it is a beautiful and glorious purpose. Thank God. Thank God for being good.

2 Thessalonians 3:5
May the Lord direct your hearts
into God's love
and Christ's perseverance.

Hour Glass

One day at a time. Day by day time rolls by like the crashing waves of the sea. Why do I do nothing of value? I let each moment slip away with nothing to show for it. There is only an hour glass full of moments in my life, and each time another grain of sand passes through the funnel I can choose whether or not to make that grain count for something. If I split my grains into two piles, one would tower over the other, my wasted time. The times that I have spent thinking about the good old days, or the days to come, rather than living in the moment. The time I spend making myself seem greater, and putting my own interests before any others. The smaller pile of grains, although small, is far more glorious. Those are the times when I took life when it came and in doing so I glorified the one who gives the moments. Those were the times when life stopped being about me, and I started living for something greater. When will I get it? When will I finally stop trying to run my life and instead live it. I want life, true life, life to the fullest. I want every second to count toward something greater than myself. I want for my entire being to honor and exalt the one who offered me life. It is time for a change, not only in my life, but in the lives of this entire generation. Something is coming, something far greater than we can dream or imagine. But this generation will be the ones to take action, the ones to fight, the ones who are no longer afraid. We will rise up and take a stand, and in doing so, live.

John 10:10 (ESV)
The thief comes only to
steal and kill and destroy.
I came that they may have
life and have it abundantly.

All Dolled Up

Once again, all dolled up and nowhere to go. I often get home from a long day at work, or hard day at school and decide that I want to do something special for the evening, so I do my hair, and my makeup, usually I put on a dress, and discover that I have nowhere to go. I might call several friends, then after many disappointments, give up. I will stand in front of the mirror one more time and sigh, as I let down my hair, wash my freshly done face, and put on my Superman pajamas. When I crawl into bed that night I always feel like I missed out. Even though there was nothing to be done, I feel like I got ready for a grand evening then did not have an opportunity to go through with it. Tonight I am in that situation again. I end up feeling lonely, and like I'm back to square one. A lot of times this is the same with Christianity for me. I feel like I get all ready for things, then opportunity's don't come up. I go to a class, read a book, do a study, and all these things should lead up to a grand time for me to use them, but the majority of the time it doesn't and I feel like I've missed something. I go over and over looking for opportunity's that might have been there. But none ever come to pass. There are many times when I go to bed feeling left out. I ask God if he forgot to involve me in his plans. But what I found is that I find joy in dressing up. I love to do my hair, and makeup. Even if there is nothing for me to do later, it was fun, and I wouldn't call it a waste, maybe just... practice. So maybe God didn't forget to involve me, maybe he was just getting in some practice before a bigger night where I need to know what I'm doing. (By the way, during this blog, I got a text from a friend saying "Party at my house tonight?" Isn't it funny how God does that?)

1 Peter 3:15
But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord.
Always be prepared to give an answer
to everyone who asks you to give the reason
for the hope that you have.
But do this with gentleness and respect,
(emphasis added)

Aubade

As I sat here in the cool dark evening creating this blog, the question arose of what it would be called. I sat and brooded about it for a few moments before referring to my favorite site, dictionary.com. I looked to the side of the page and saw the word of the day: aubade - a song greeting the dawn. Somehow the word just kept ringing through my head. A song greeting the dawn. That is what I want to be. I want to be that song that sings to greet the dawn. This morning as I was driving to school I gasped at the beauty of the morning. The sky was a light creamy blue that faded into a pale chalky pink which pointed straight to the bright yellow sun. It's times such as these where my soul cannot hep but sing to greet the majestic morning. I then turned my focus on the Son, the Son of God. Jesus is the light, he is the dawn. Our world is covered in darkness, but when he returns it will be like the dawn. And I want to be one that is singing and praising his name. I want to be a song of greeting to the dawn. Maybe this all didn't occur to me as I chose the word, but it keeps growing on me. It always astounds me, how much meaning can fit into one small word. You can write thousands upon thousands of words on account of one small word. Well this is the start of my journey here for anyone to read and listen to my heart. Let nothing be wasted, take everything you have and offer it to those who do not have, sing, dance, laugh, be volnerable, hold others high, smile at your reflection, and most of all glorify God.

Isaiah 58:8
Then shall your light break forth like the dawn,
and your healing shall spring up speedily;
your righteousness shall go before you;
the glory of the LORD shall be your rear guard.